Saturday, November 7, 2009

Finality & hope

For the most part, I am a control freak. I've gotten a little bit better with handing things over to God. However, when it comes to OTHER people/things making decisions for me, I don't deal well.

I've always longed for a large family. I am blessed with 2 beautiful & healthy children whom I cherish and adore, but I've always wanted more. Craig is perfectly happy with 2. Don't get me wrong, I am too. But there is that part of me that longs for another. What stinks is that my body has decided no more too. I'm not unable to conceive, quite the opposite. Because of depression and medication that I take for it, I have been advised by several doctors that it would be in my best interest to not have anymore children.

For the past few years, I've accepted this 'decision'. It's only been as of late that this 'decision' has really made me mad. Several friends are pregnant and I am jealous & angry. Jealous that it isn't me and angry that my body has decided otherwise.

I want to wallow in self-pity quite honestly. I throw the BEST pity parties!!!

Craig made a suggestion that I'm really excited about. Of course I've been trying to get as much info as I can, but not happy with what I've found. I can't wait to go to church tomorrow & find my friend Mary Beth. Craig suggested that we try to become foster parents!!!

What a wonderful gift we can give another child... a child who has been through a horrible situation. Give them love & stability and a sense of normalcy.

Now I have a project. Try to find as much information as I can about becoming a foster parent. I want to get the ball rolling on this.

I'll keep you updated!

Many blessings,


No comments: