Thursday, March 13, 2014

My story changes

The Mayor and I started up a new couples small group. We've been out of it for just over a year. We needed the time off. Group was beginning to become something I dreaded week after week. That's when you know it is time to walk away.

So here we are. Back leading a group. I've got to admit, I'm nervous. It's time to put myself out there again.

As we met last night, it was time for me & The Mayor to share our stories.

Yet last night, I realized my story has changed just a little bit. So much of my story is definitely about my past and how with God's help I have overcome it. Right now, its just so much more. It's become about the restoration of my relationship with my father. It was freeing to share that new chapter of my life. I think I needed to 'hear' it. It may not have helped anyone else.... but it certainly helped me.

I love how God continues to use your life to teach you new things.

Many blessings,

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Musings of me

One of the things I want to accomplish with Mending Hearts is to help others find healing. For them to know, learn & embrace that they are NOT defined by their past. God loves them exactly as they are and He wants to meet them where they are.

While I do not want to keep revisiting my past, I know that in order to truly be effective I need to share the pain. Become transparent. Take myself off a pedestal and right into the muck and mire where others are.

I've been in that pit. Feeling unloved. Unworthy. Unaccepted. Though you don't want to wallow, it sometimes is so much easier to stay than to fight and claw your way out. The enemy whispers in your ear "do you really think people will like you" "once they find out what you've done, they'll never accept you".

This past week, I've seen yet another example of why this ministry is so important. Young girls seeking love by anyone they can find. Reaching out to strangers to feel complete; whole. Yet not realizing that the only One who can fill that void is a loving Heavenly Father.

So, yet again, I am reminded to get off my @$$ and do something. It's time to meet these ladies (young & old) where they are. Pray with them. For them. That God will guide me.

Again - I turn to you for help. Simply pray. Pray that I stop dragging my feet. To stop being afraid of succeeding. Yep - you see that right. It's not that I'm afraid to fail. I am afraid of succeeding. I always have  been. It's easier to blend into the woodwork - stay a wallflower - when you haven't succeeded.

One thing I've learned. If God wants something, He'll move mountains to make it happen. I just happen to be along for the ride this time around.

Many blessings,