Saturday, January 28, 2012


Satan not only acts within the sovereign permission of God, but also ends up accomplishing the sovereign purposes of God. ~ David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream

The BFF & I were having a conversation the other day. I think it was more like I was ranting and she was listening. But then she said something profound. She quoted the text above in reference to my rant, but I realized it could be applied to other aspects of my life too.

Like my past. Any one of those things would be enough to drive someone insane. Quite honestly, there was a point where it did. Feeling abandoned; alone. As if no one cared. Hard to see God in the midst of it all. What Satan tried to use to destroy me has been brought to the forefront and will glorify God.

It's not about dwelling on the negative, but focusing on the positive. God's purpose is to reveal His love to the hurting; the suffering. When everyone else has walked out, God is still in our midst.

I try to be honest in this blog. I didn't always sense God's presence. In fact, quite the opposite. That's why I ran. I felt God had deserted me. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I realized that God had never left. He was actively pursuing me -- even in my times of need. I was just too hurt and angry to hear Him.

That is where Mending Hearts comes into play. An opportunity to have something good come out of something bad.

Focus on God's sovereignty. Try to hear the still small whisper. He is there.

Many blessings,

Consumer vs. Follower

At church last Sunday, Andy spoke about being a consumer vs. a follower of Christ. A consumer merely is a person who says they are a Christian. Then there's a pivotal moment where they give up their life and become a follower.

That got me thinking about my own life; my own walk w/ Christ. When did I become follower, not merely a consumer. I can't pinpoint the date. Maybe it came from maturing in age as well as spirituality. There are still times where I revert back to being a consumer. I think that's only natural.

I've realized that I am more at peace as a follower. I rely more on God and less on myself. Anxiety is less. My abandonment issues are fairly non-existent. You would think I would simply continue to live as a follower.

Truth is, I sabotage things sometimes. I give my cares & worries over to God and then at some point they sneak back into my life. I take them back. It's not that I don't think God can't handle them - I KNOW He can. It's more like I think that they are so insignificant to Him. I mean, He's got a lot more important things to worry about than little ol' me.

Then reality hits me. I am more than just little ol' me when it comes to God. He think I am important. He loved me enough to create me. My problems are monumental to Him as they are to me.

So, I will try to continue to focus on my relationship... focusing on simply being a follower.

Many blessings,

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

What's your wall?

Today's sermon... I've heard Andy preach on this verse before.
Nehemiah 6:3 I am doing a great work and cannot come down.
For over 15 years, it has been his family's "mantra". This year, I adopt it as mine.

There's a few things in my life that I need to work on, but as he was preaching I automatically thought of the ministry. Man, I'm telling you - Andy was talking TO ME!! What am I waiting for when it comes to this ministry? The right amount of money? The right time?

God's timing is always the right time. If money is needed, He will provide. I just need to take that step of faith. If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat.

It's time for me to get out of the boat & climb up my wall.

I'm not coming down til that wall is done.

What's your wall???

Many blessings,