I always talk about being transparent. I find that it is fairly easy to be transparent on my blog because 1) does anyone actually read this & 2) will I ever really meet you in real life.
But tonight was a test of my transparency.
I went to my 2nd OA meeting. The 1st one was painless so I decided to go back for more. Amazingly enough, still painless. However, when you participate in speaking of any sort, most people introduce themselves "Hi my name is.... and I am a compulsive over-eater" (remember this is based upon AA).
I have no problem blogging about my eating problem and I've gotten a LITTLE better with saying it to friends & family. It's the whole admitting it to a group of strangers that I take issue with. I'm SO afraid that they're all going to GASP at my announcement (yes, I know full well that everyone there struggles with compulsive over-eating. That's not the point.)
But tonight, I did it. "My name is Allison and I am a compulsive over-eater". Imagine my 'surprise' when no one gasped or ran in horror. I was simply greeted with a friendly "Hi Allison".
It's a baby step.. one of many steps I need to take. But it felt SO freeing to finally admit it publicly.
I look forward to my next meeting.