Hope has a heartbeat

I love seeing God at work. I know He works in our lives every minute of every day, but its in those moments when you can SEE it that just blows me away.

This past weekend was the Sista Herd retreat. Sadly, I missed the one this past spring and I was missing the fall one too. I was scheduled to work. Last minute, God arranged it so that I was off from work. Finances fell into place and I was on my way.

For those of you who know me, I do not do 'solo' very well. I am not one to relish in the joy that is eating in a restaurant alone. HATE IT!!! Yet, I was making this trip through Chattahoochee National Forest on my own. I needed that down time. It was an opportunity to talk w/ God as I enjoyed the nature around me.

Only a handful of people knew that I was showing up. At one point, a dear friend even 'threatened' to kidnap me so I could go. Before I got to the retreat, I stopped for directions. There the enemy was.... talking so softly 'You're here alone. It's not like you have your friends here. You're just going to be the odd man out all weekend.' At that point, I wanted to turn around. What the heck was a I doing? Seriously - why would I do something like this without the security blanket of at least 1 friend from home. I was setting myself up for failure.

When I parked, instead of going right inside to say HI, I took out a book and started to read. Not sure why. It was my way of avoiding the inevitable. Just then, I saw Shellie. I decided to get out of the van & say hi. It was more than a HELLO!!! It was a giant hug of sunshine from a dear person. Shellie was HONESTLY happy to see me. I needed that hug... I needed that moment of want.

Jennie...... I've met Jennie once over a year and a half ago at my first retreat in Kure Beach, NC. We haven't seen each other since. When Jennie arrived on Friday, the 1st thing she did was stop what she was going, come over to me, give me a big hug and tell me how great it was to see me. This spoke to my broken in heart in such a way. I often wonder if people remember me. If they think about me the way I think about them. That moment in time confirmed it... I DO MATTER!!!

The weekend was about HOPE HAS A HEARTBEAT. It sure does. I went in to this weekend feeling hopeless about situations at home. God spoke to my heart, told me what I needed to hear and moved on. There was MORE I needed to hear. More that I wasn't planning on hearing. More that I didn't think I needed to hear.

I've always struggled with belonging. Having a place in this world. Having friends. That loss has been tremendous lately. Especially with life happening.

God used this weekend to show me that I do have friends. I do belong. I belong to a King... I am His princess. I am surrounded by other princesses who truly LOVE me.

This weekend, I went in thinking I was going to hear a message that would give me hope about my family. Instead, I got a message of love, friendship & hope. I am loved by an amazing group of SISTERS.... while time & miles may separate us, we pray for one another. Our lives are intertwined and God is using each of us.

Thank you my SISTAS!!! You touched my heart in ways that you will never know. Thank you God for arranging this weekend. For only YOU could have arranged it as perfectly as you did.

Many blessings,

Life Lessons: Part 1

Earlier this year, a friend at church blessed us with a wonderful gift. They signed me & Craig up for Intimate Encounters. Intimate Encounters is an 11-week marriage study designed to strengthen your marriage by putting God in the middle of it.

Craig & I have been wanting to do this for quite some time now, but always found excuses. Once we had someone sign us up for it, we no longer had valid excuses.

I'll be honest (as I try to always be here), I wasn't a fan at first. Not that I wasn't enjoying the study, but I felt as though we weren't really 'connecting' with the others in our group. They weren't our 'people'. I pressed on because there was some GOOD stuff.

The major lesson that I learned was where my irrational fear of Craig leaving was coming from. I have had this overwhelming fear that one day Craig will wake up and realize he's made a mistake by marrying me and just leave. It's not that we don't have a good marriage - we do. It's just this fear. Because of this fear, I've really held back with opening up to him. Allowing him to truly be my best friend.

So, what did I learn, you ask?

Before I write my lesson, please understand that I, in no way, am placing blame on anyone. This isn't going to be a bashing of how I was raised or anything like that. It is simply what God has revealed to me.

As I've said before, growing up was pretty rocky. My parents didn't have the best marriage. I can remember several times when I was younger, that Dad moved out a time or two. I can't remember why or the length of time that he was out of the home. I just know that there were several times he was gone. Over time, my relationship with him became one of just tolerance. I tolerated his presence when he was at the house. Eventually, even though he lived at home, I viewed my family as myself, my mother and my 2 younger sisters. I just never knew when/if Dad was going to be home. I didn't really care.

Eventually, my parents did separate permanently. Mom met someone else and decided to leave Dad. While I wasn't necessarily thrilled at the situation, I thought for sure that Dad would move out and that would be that. We would all get on with our lives. That did NOT happen! Dad dug in his heels and refused to move out of the house. Therefore, Mom moved out. Even though I was 21 years old at the time, I saw this as my Mom abandoning me. You have to know, up until this point, she was my BEST FRIEND. She moved out, didn't take us with her, and left us with this man who was a stranger. I was SO angry!!! Not only did she abandon me... she replaced me. You see, the person she met reminded her SO much of me. Being young in my maturity, I saw it as though she replaced me.

The 2 people that I loved most in the world.... Dad was in and out of the house all the time and Mom eventually left and replaced me. I had a fear of abandonment.

I write all of this to say, that while I may have felt alone in my earthly family, my Heavenly Father never left me. He never abandoned me. He will never abandon me. He blessed me with an amazing man who loves me so very much. One that promises that he loves me, 'til death do us part.

It's been a slow process. 39-years of holding things back is a hard habit to break. But with what I've learned in Intimate Encounters, growing closer to God and growing closer to Craig is that some things are worth taking risks for. My marriage is certainly one of those things.

I love my parents and am so grateful at the life they gave me. The foundation that they laid for my walk with Christ.

I am working on myself... I am working on trust. I am a work in progress. Ever changing.

Many blessings,

Psalm 23 revisited

I love the Bible... I love reading it. Historical stories, love letters, letters to the early churches, poems. It's a compilation of so many different types of writing, all God breathed.

Psalms are some of my favorites. Raw emotions & adoration to an all-powerful, all-loving God.

Psalm 23 is probably one of the most recognized Psalm in the world. You don't have to be a Christian or even a religious believer to know it. It is often read at funerals:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

However, this Sunday my view of that Psalm will forever be changed. It isn't about death at all... it's about life. About God's promises.

I won't do the sermon justice, so I encourage you to listen to it yourself. Head over to North Point Messages and listen to 'PROMISES'. Justin Grunewald dissects the Psalm and delivers it layman's terms that will really open your eyes.

What it all boils down to is this: God gives us promises. He wants to give us our heart's desire. He longs to have a relationship with us & provide for us. Psalm 23 is just a glimpse of His promises for us. Yet there is something that WE have to do.... for God to work those promises WE need to accept Him. The very first sentence is key!!!

The Lord is MY shepherd.

To many, He is THE shepherd, but He wants to be MY shepherd. Once He becomes my shepherd, he fulfills those promises.

Many blessings,
Allison

Seasons of life

I'm a complicated woman. There, I said it (though any man reading this would probably say that ALL women are complicated).

As much as I like to say that I'm a 'fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants' kind of girl, I'm not one that embraces change either. I'll embrace it when it doesn't actually have a HUGE impact on MY life.

But if MY life is going to change, you better watch out!!! I'll be kicking & screaming the whole way! Trying to control everything and everyone around me so that I can 'think' that I am in control.

There's a saying:

Some people come into your life for a reason.
Some people come into your life for a season.
Some people come into your life for a lifetime.

I'm all about seeing the reason why certain people are in my life. I love when God reveals that to me. I LOVE having friends that will last for a lifetime. You know the ones: days, months, years can go by before you talk to one another, but when you do it's like time has stood still (except for the gray hairs & wrinkles).

It's those SEASON people that I have a hard time with. Don't get me wrong... some of the season people are in my life for a reason... some of them will be in my life for a lifetime too. But it's at the end of the season, when there's that "goodbye" of sort, that I hate.

Sometimes the friendship just fizzles. Sometimes it's a catastrophic event. Either way, there's a sense of loss. That little hole in your heart that only that is reserved for that person.

But then God does something amazing!!! He fills that void with His love. Sometimes He brings new people to your life that increase the size of your heart so that void doesn't feel so BIG.

It's moments like this that remind me of one of my all-time favorite Christian songs by Michael W. Smith... You know the one. In fact, the tune just popped into your head as you're reading this.

Friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though its hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends

Many blessings,
Allison

Indescribable

For several months now, we've been trying to get to North Georgia College & State University to check out the FREE planetarium show. I attempted back in February, but got there too late for us to get a seat.

Last night, while my in-laws were still in town, we headed out early, had dinner at Sonic and then headed on up to Dahlonega to check out the planetarium. The show was great! Ok, it doesn't rival the Hayden Planetarium in NYC, but I was still impressed!!!

The best part of the evening was heading out to their observatory after the show. I won't even try to explain the telescope they had (I don't know how). Even one of the students brought their own telescope.

I've always had an interest in astronomy. Probably dating back to my senior year of high school. A boy I dated was a boy scout and taught me to look at a few constellations. Orion was my FAVORITE (still is). I even toyed with the idea of changing my major to astronomy. Regretting it now.

Last night... while it was quite hazy outside, we were still treated to incredible sites! We were taught to find Venus, Mars & Jupiter in the night sky. Then we got to view EACH planet in a telescope. OUTSTANDING! AMAZING!!! Truly INDESCRIBABLE!

The very best part of the night was seeing Saturn & its rings. We were also treated to a peek at Titan (one of Saturn's moons). For a bit, I thought that there was a magazine picture on the other end of the telescope, that's how clear it was. Seeing it in BOTH telescopes... intense!

Can you believe it!! THIS is what I saw. Justin & I could have stayed there for hours. The professors that were with us were SO knowledgeable and were very willing to share that knowledge. Seriously, if I had a tent, I would have stayed... heck, if I had a CHAIR and a car (we carpooled with the rest of the family) I would have stayed. They even pointed out star clusters. Told stories of the constellations. We even got to see 3 satellites in just 5 minutes.

The whole time, I couldn't stop thinking about what an amazing God we serve. While we're busy trying to figure ways to put life on Mars, God just keeps showing me new & exciting things in His creation. Here I am 38-years old, been privy to see some beautiful sites here on Earth, now treated to what God has placed in the heavens.

If you find yourself having a free Friday night and looking for something fun to do, I HIGHLY recommend heading up to Dahlonega for the free planetarium & observatory. I couldn't even put a price for the experience.

Many blessings,
Allison

I am NOT alone

This was in my inbox today:

Many of us, in trying to run away from our essential aloneness, have abused alcohol, work, drugs, food, money, and entertainment. In spite of our frantic activity, we have continued to feel "alone in a crowd," "alone in our dreams," and "lonely in our marriages."

These experiences should prove we cannot successfully avoid coming to terms with our aloneness. The sooner we accept responsibility for our lives, the sooner we will stop inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves.

In accepting our aloneness, we accept that no one can protect us from ourselves - and that no one can live our lives for us. "Aloneness" simply means that we cannot depend on others for our joy or sorrow. We are the authors of our actions, attitudes, and experiences and not the "victims" of fate or circumstance.

Today I will not be afraid of my aloneness. I will accept total responsibility for my attitudes, actions, or neglects. I will not seek unnecessary pain by relying on what others say or do to make me happy.

Normally, I love the interesting little tidbits that arrive in my inbox from Hazeldon. But not this one.

Our disease is what isolates us. But we do not HAVE to be alone in this. We have our program friends and some of us are blessed to have our family.

If I am honest with my sponsor & fellow OA friends, I do not have to be alone. I can rely on their support, love & understanding.

If I am open with my husband, I am not alone. Granted, he cannot fully understand my battle, but he can certainly give me the love & support needed persevere.

Most of all, we have God. They're right, no one can protect me from myself... no one here on earth. But God can! If I am walking with God during my recovery, I am not alone. He will protect me from myself & my disease.

It's a new day for me and I plan to make the most of it. I will not be 'alone' today!

Many blessings,
Allison

Lead me to the Cross

One of my favorite movies is Passion of the Christ. We own it... I've watched it once or twice. Yes, its my favorite, but obviously its not one of those movies that you can watch over & over again. It's an emotional portrayal of the last moments of Christ.

The imagery is powerful. You don't have to read the subtitles to understand what's going on. Watching Jesus get beaten by the Roman soldiers was enough to bring tears to my eyes.The look on Mary's face was heart wrenching as she watched her child endure the torture.

Yet it is with a joyful & love-filled heart that I watch that movie.... Christ endured all of the humiliation, pain & torture for me. He died on that cross so that I could have eternal life.




Many blessings,
Allison

Breaking the chains

My, what a powerful weekend!!! I've been exhausted from the weekend. Between the 7 hour drive each way, nerves from speaking & other drama, I've been wiped out since Monday.

Yet today.... today I was reminded of one of the most profound moments at the retreat. One of the speakers talked about how we need to break free of the chains that Satan uses to bind us & then use those VERY chains to bind him. Powerful imagery, isn't it? With that, she took out chains - plastic ones. She connected them together, each woman grabbed a piece of chain & we prayed together. Powerful, powerful stuff! You could FEEL it. Then each of us was able to take a little bit of 'chain' home with us to remind us of this freeing statement.


Lives were changed this weekend... outwardly & inwardly.

That moment had Satan scrambling! Within a few hours of breaking the chains, he began his attack. By the time I got home on Sunday night, our group of 4 had been attacked 3 times. We needed to remember that Satan was scared. We had taken away his 'power'. Then God greeted us with a rainbow. His promise that He is with us.

Break those chains... it can be done.



Many blessings,
Allison

Finding freedom with a broken heart***

*** this is a transcript of my speech at the recent woman's retreat.

I 'met' Jesus when I was about 11 or 12. My dad was a new Christian and bringing the family to church. Everyone was always excited at church and the tears that flowed when someone received Christ - well, I wanted that. Yet, there was still a hole in my heart. I don't think I FULLY understood why it was there and how to fill it.

My teenage years were rough. I was very active in church & youth group. I even made my own purity pledge, yet I still craved the love of a man - mainly my earthly father.

I'll start my story at around age 14 (1987-ish). Sad, that I can’t remember the exact age, but maybe that’s just for the best.

I had begun attending a youth group in a nearby town. It started off small – maybe 5 kids & the youth pastor. We met in someone’s living room. But then it took off. Teens came from all over to be a part of this youth group. Eventually we grew out of that living room & started meeting in a local church. Our youth pastor was this amazing guy. Maybe 25 years old, just got back from seminary in Seattle. At least that’s what I remember. We would meet every Tuesday night… Monday nights were set aside for Christian Skate Night at a local roller rink. Youth group opened my eyes up to life beyond my small little town. I wasn’t the only Christian teen. I heard new music and went on adventures.

B*, our youth pastor, was this really charismatic guy. The kind of guy you wanted to be around. We flocked to him. What you didn’t get at home, you could get from him – love & acceptance. B took us everywhere. If you needed a ride to skating or group, he would pick you up in a huge van.

For a while, I had an interest in writing. I was always writing poems, plays & short stories. Because our youth group was SO large (we had up to 80 teens at one point), I started a newspaper/newsletter. Just about the goings on of group – trips, activities, etc. A few of the other girls from group helped me with it….

I didn’t drive – so B would pick me up & bring me to the church to use their typewriter & copier. It was always a group of us, but this one night, I was the only one who could make it. After finishing the typing on the newsletter, I was cutting out some clip art (yes, actual clip art from a book) to use. I was sitting at the church secretary’s desk working; B came up behind me and started massaging my shoulders. No big deal – right? I was feeling really uncomfortable. I remember getting up & walking around because I was that uncomfortable. It wasn’t just massaging. He would move my bra straps & try to peer down my shirt – but it was all very ‘innocent’. Yet something in my brain screamed at me. After that, I tried to never be alone with him again.

It wasn’t until I was about 16 that I figured out something was wrong. I knew that I was uncomfortable around B, but never really understood why.

I was walking home from work on a Sunday evening. It was spring, so it wasn’t that dark out. I had worked at a local ice cream place. I stopped by my friend’s house on the way home, but she wasn’t there. So I continued the walk home. You’ve got to realize, my town was TINY!!! 2 square miles – or was it 2 miles square. Either way – it was small. I was about a block from my house. It was darker now. Maybe the street lights were on. I was walking and there was someone else walking too. I think he might have crossed the street and came on my side. I don’t remember that well because it has been so long, plus it all happened so fast. He reached out & grabbed my breast. He made a rude comment. I pulled away & ran home. Police were called & about a week later an arrest was made. That incident opened up my eyes to what was going on with B. He was molesting me & MANY other girls in the youth group.

During this whole old man situation (the attack on the street), I also told my parents about B. They did the biblical thing; approached B with my accusations. He vehemently denied them – of course. My parents believed me, so they took the next step. Talk to the elders of the church. Eventually, I was asked to leave the church. Youth group was disbanded & had to stop meeting at the church they were using and I was an outcast. My Christian family deserted me.

I’ll be honest… I hated God. I couldn’t believe that all of that happened to me and I was the one who got tossed. These were God’s people… and they left me when I was hurting the most. They rallied around B – he had a history of abuse which made it “acceptable” to be an abuser. The worst part – I KNEW I wasn’t the only one. There were about 15 other girls who he was doing this to, but no one would come forward. In fact, those girls made my life miserable. They all blamed me for trying to ruin B’s life.

I looked everywhere for that love & acceptance, only to miss it. After being shunned by my church family, I grew angry with God. How could He let this happen to me? If I couldn't rely on my church family, who COULD I rely on? All the while, God was whispering to me yet I was TOO angry to hear Him.

Eventually, my self-respect went out the window. I let men treat me like garbage because I believed that I was garbage. My earthly father didn't love me, my church family didn't want me... obviously my Heavenly Father gave up on me.

I turned towards sex & alcohol to numb the pain. Let me tell you - they were only temporary fixes. The pain always came back worse than before. My mind was open for the Enemy.

I stopped attending church by then.. not just THAT church, but any church. I hated God. Just like that. Done.

I coasted through high school with a string of broken hearts. Graduated, went off to college, came back & went to community college. At 19, I was working at The Gap and having fun. I met up with an ex-boyfriend from high school and we went out. I had to go home because I needed to watch my foster sibling (I can’t remember which one we had at the time). I do remember it being toward the end of April. My parents were out & my Grandmother went home. It was just me & D*. A lot had changed at my house since we dated, so I showed him around. My room was moved up to the attic, so we went up there. We started kissing. He told me that he knew that I had had sex with someone & was upset that I wouldn’t have sex with him when we were dating. He wanted to be my first. He said that I belonged to him. Right there in my room, he laid me on my bed & undressed me. I cried. There was no penetration, but I still had to fight him off. Then he left.

A few days later, watching ‘The Accused’ on TV, I started to realize what had happened that night. I had been sexually assaulted. I sunk into a depression. I managed to tell my mother what happened, who in turn told my father. Eventually, I did reach out to a local rape crisis center.

A year later, I was dating a guy named N*. He was a nice guy. I had been friends with him for a bit before dating and we always had a great time. We were hanging out at his mother’s house with his friend, W*; just watching some TV in his room. His mom & brother were in the living room, right next door. At some point, N got up, shut his bedroom door & put a weight in front it. I didn’t think anything of it. The next thing I remember, N & W taking turns raping me. Right now, you’re probably thinking – if N’s mom & brother were in the next room, why didn’t you scream? Trust me, I screamed as loud as I could. They also took turns holding a pillow over my face so I couldn’t be heard.

If I wasn’t angry with God before!! In the course of 6 years, I had been sexually attacked by 5 different guys. There must have been something wrong with me. God must have really hated me. I wouldn’t leave my room, I couldn’t sleep. Things got bad. I was drinking like a fish & giving myself to just about any guy I knew; friends with benefits. If I was worthless, I might as well enjoy myself, right?

God's whispers began getting a little louder in 1993 when He answered a simple prayer. I was looking at some old pictures. I came across a picture of me & a guy, Craig, from when we dated years before (we were 15). Something inside of me told me that he was who I was supposed to be with. I was going to call him, but chickened out. What if he didn’t remember me? What if he remembered me, but hated me? What if he was married? I did something that night – still not sure why – that I hadn’t done in years. I prayed. I prayed that if I ever had a 2nd chance with Craig, I would make it work.

A few days later, I was on the phone with a friend. Something happened & we got disconnected. I hung up the phone & it rang immediately. Figuring it was her calling back, I answered with some rude comment. But it wasn’t her. There was a guy on the other line….. guess who? Craig! He was on winter break from college and had been thinking about me. He finally got the courage up to call me & got in touch with my dad. My dad then gave him my number. As you could imagine, I was dumbfounded. I just sat there saying ‘Oh my God’ repeatedly.

We went out the next night. I told him all that had happened to me. He needed to know what he was getting himself into. Craig loved me IN SPITE of what happened – just like God loves us in spite of what we do!!! We’ve been together ever since.

What brought me back to God? An answered prayer. I’ve learned that God didn’t desert me through all of it…. He LOVED me. It broke his heart each time I was abused. Yet through my anger, He still loved me. That was the beginning of my road to becoming a SURVIVOR. That doesn't mean that healing was immediate. I had hardened my heart to God - but slowly He was softening it.

Over the years, He continued to pursue me. He blessed me with a godly husband, 2 beautiful children, a home; He has reunited & repaired family relationships. He still pursues me - He pursues you too.

There are still days where the Enemy tries to find a foothold. Most days he's unsuccessful. God has taken those 'tragedies' of my life and brought good out of them. He took my broken heart & bound it back together so that I can love Him and love myself.

I am not a rape victim. I am a rape survivor. Those things that happened, yes, they initially broke me. But I am a MUCH stronger person for it. I don't wish any of it on my worst enemy, but I know how good can come out of something SO bad.

So, why am I telling you my story? This story of heartbreak & tragedy? Because it is not just MY story – it's a part of God's story.

We can look at the rough times in our lives and say “Why” or we can look at them and say “How can I use this to glorify you”. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And it is SO freeing.

By asking God to show me how to glorify Him, He has freed me from those events. Allowing me to forgive – truly forgive – those who hurt me. Recently, I was able to write & send a letter to my former youth pastor telling him that I had indeed forgiven him. What freedom!!! And without God, I know I could not have ever put those words on paper.

The beauty of freedom in God is that He can and will free us from anything. All we need to do is ask Him. You are dear to Him and He only wants your happiness.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. ~ Psalms 147:3

Many blessings,
Allison

Where do I begin?

What started out as my 1st speaking engagement turned into a weekend that I will NEVER forget! I don't even know where to start when I try to talk about this weekend.

When I started out on Friday, I was nervous. Not just about getting up & talking. It was more about having different areas of my life 'meet'. I shouldn't have worried.. Kristin, Jo & Amanda got along from minute one (I'm a dork for even thinking that they wouldn't). 7 hours in a car - HYSTERICAL!!! Oh my the conversation!!

Ok... so our 4 bedroom cabin turned into a cabin with a 4 bed room. Hahahaha! One day I'll learn to read. Our cabin was right across the street from the ocean. We could see it from our kitchen window. All these years I've focused on my FEAR of the ocean and I had forgotten the BEAUTY & POWER of it. A beautiful reminder from my Heavenly Father.


All weekend God gave me gentle signs that I was where I was supposed to be; in the music, other people's words. By the time I got up to speak, I was still nervous, but I had such a renewed strength. Getting up to that microphone, I felt home. THIS was what I was called to do. I can't wait to do it again (not that I have another chance - yet. We know how God works).

I went into this with 3 friends, 1 acquaintance & 20+ strangers. I walked away with 3 BEST friends & 20+ NEW friends. My sisters in Christ.

God touched each one of us this weekend in profound ways. Ways that we've already heard about & ways that are still in the works.

I have been blessed by this group of women and I can't wait to see them again.

On our way home, heck I was already 8 miles from home, God sealed the weekend with a promise. HIS promise!

Many blessings,
Allison


P.S. I will be posting a transcript of my speech

Amazing worship!

What do you get when you put a rockin' worship band, 1000+ high school students & 300+ small group leaders in one room? AMAZING WORSHIP!!!

Fee Band is currently one of my favorite Christian bands, not just because they're local. The words of their songs speak right to my heart; they get through all of the crap & really hit my soul. It is often that while listening to one of their songs God speaks to me. Music causes me to be still & really listen to what He has to say to me.

Last weekend our church hosted the annual MyLife weekend for high schools students from all 3 campuses (Browns Bridge, North Point & Buckhead). I've never been to MyLife, but my husband has. He always comes back exhausted & without a voice, but recharged by the connection he made with God and his high school boys.

Saturday night, the kids & I 'sneaked' into church to watch Fee perform. I'll admit it - I'm a groupie! Justin complained that it was too loud (he was tired). Chelsea really got into & started worshiping & raising her hands. That itself warmed my heart.

But the view from below was incredible! Hundreds of high schoolers & their leaders just worshiping God. Not caring what the person next to them would think about them. For that moment, these kids just let go.


I feel so blessed that we attend a church that our kids love to go to. They look forward to waking up on Sunday mornings. They WANT to go to church. For me & Craig, that is refreshing because we certainly were not like that at their age (at least I know I wasn't).

This weekend is Walking Wisely Weekend for the middle school students. Chelsea will be going. I'm bummed that I won't be there, but cannot wait to hear about her experience!! I pray that God will meet her in that place and speak to her heart.

If you're in the market for some great worship & are in the area tonight (2/24/10), stop by Browns Bridge Community Church for their Night of Worship (featuring Fee Band, Cori Moon & Seth Condrey). It's a wonderful night of prayer, worship & communion.

Many blessings,
Allison

Wasn't what I expected!

One of the many things I love about being a Christian is being able to recognize when God answers a prayer. Granted, it's not always the answer that I'm expecting.

Tonight was just one of those nights. I cannot go into detail in such a public forum, but I sent out a quick prayer asking God to protect us from a certain situation. Honestly, I was expecting things to just run smoothly & the situation would be avoided (I like avoiding things). Not so much! It looked like we were going to experience that situation after all.

In walks God. Well, not literally. Well, MAYBE literally. A friend happened along to where we were, which enabled us to leave and avoid said situation.

I just love how when we pray for something, God sometimes answers with a great big ol' neon sign.

Many blessings,
Allison

I can't contain myself!!!

Ginger Garrett is one of my favorite Christian authors - not because she's a friend either. If I didn't know her, I'd STILL love her books.

A few years ago, she was kind enough to bring me a few of her books to read. I couldn't put them down! My favorite, by far, was Chosen: The Lost Diaries of Queen Esther. Some would say that it is similar to 'One Night with the King'... I couldn't tell you. I haven't read that yet.

Back to Chosen. Ginger paints a vivid picture of Esther, Xerxes & their story. I got so wrapped up in the story that I forgot that it is a true story. Just open up your Bible to the Old Testament, find the book of Esther. Ta dah!

But Chosen is SO much more than the Biblical account. It really is a love story, but not your average love story. It's the love of God for His chosen people.

I lent my copy of Chosen to someone & haven't gotten it back. And if you KNOW me, you know that I need to keep my books. I re-read them constantly!! That's why I'm not good at borrowing books from the library. I never want to give them back.

Just last week, Ginger announced the re-release of Chosen. Sure, I could have bought a copy from Half.com, but some of the first editions are going for $90!! I love Ginger, but I'd rather pay HER $90 for her book - not a random stranger.

So, I'm starting a countdown!




Interested in pre-ordering, look no further: Chosen, Amazon.com
I know I'll be asking for a copy for my birthday!!!

Many blessings,
Allison

How great is our God

Every so often I am able to witness something that is SO incredible - baptism.

Each time, I get to hear how God has worked in someone else's life. How He has picked up the broken piece of their lives and made them whole again. This week - really I can't fully express it with words. Today, I witness this transformation in a high schooler.

Let me tell you about him.

I'm not really sure of his name, but I know who he is. Each Sunday, he leads a group of 5th grade boys. I'm not sure of the impact he has on those boys, but he has had a TREMENDOUS impact on me.

Every so often he'll sit in the front row at the 11am service. During worship, you can SEE him pour his heart out to the Lord. He is SO in love with our God. Once I even told him how uplifting it is when I see him praise Him.

Today we heard his story.

He's lived a tough life. Yet when he met the Lord, his life was transformed. He WALKS to & from church each Sunday. He arrives at 6am and doesn't usually leave until 7pm. Each Sunday!!! He loves His God SO much that he is willing to serve in any way possible.

To watch him proclaim that Jesus is his Lord & Savior left me speechless & in tears.

That is what it's all about - our church. It's about bringing people into a GROWING relationship with Jesus Christ.

My prayer for you is that you encounter someone's life transforms yours.

Many blessings,
Allison

Hands of my healer

We sang this song today in church and I couldn't wait to get home & blog about it. While singing, the image of Christ's pierced hands came into my mind.

Hands of the Healer

Blood flows down
Blood flows down
Flowing from the hands of the Healer
Death is bound
Death is bound
It’s broken in the hands of the Healer

So beautiful oh so beautiful
So beautiful Your love

Glory to the King who gave His life
Glory to the Lamb of sacrifice
Beautiful and broken
Holiness and love
Glorious the wounded hands of God

Risen life
Risen life
Purchased by the hands of the Healer
Sanctified
Sanctified
How precious are the hands of the Healer

So beautiful oh so beautiful
So beautiful Your love

Glory to the King who gave His life
Glory to the Lamb of sacrifice
Beautiful and broken
Holiness and love
Glorious the wounded hands of God

So beautiful oh so beautiful
So beautiful the hands of love
So powerful oh so powerful
So powerful the hands of love

Many blessings,
Allison

Life is our ministry

Earlier this year, I attempted to start my own ministry. One that would reach broken women & let them know that they are not alone. It hasn't gotten off the ground - then again, I haven't spent much time on it either.

I can't say that I am necessarily disappointed. I think it takes a lot of work to run/begin a ministry. It's not that I don't want to do the work - I DO! I just haven't put in the time or effort to make a go of it.

We have been blessed once again & I feel so unworthy. We haven't 'done' anything to deserve the blessings. Yet clearly, somehow we have ministered to someone. Just by living our lives.

I may not have a big/popular ministry known throughout the country. What I do have is a quiet little, personal ministry one that quietly touches people's lives in ways that I will never know.

God continues to bless us. He provides for us & love us. We are unworthy of that gift, yet He gives it SO freely.

Many blessings,
Allison

Words cannot express...

This post had a TOTALLY different direction when I started. I was going to write about the wonderful time we had at Classic Christmas at Browns Bridge Community Church last night. I wanted to talk about the musicians that shared their talented with us, so I started looking online for their individual websites. But then, God changed my plans.

Casey Darnell was one of the 6 musicians that performed last night. As I perused the internet looking for his website, I stumbled across this nugget of beauty.



The sound quality is terrible, but it's what's going on in the front row that speaks volumes to my heart. On the Front row...witness 2 guys worshiping their hearts out to the song "Mighty to Save" being lead at Buckhead Church by Casey Darnell and Carlos Whittaker. One of the guys on the front row has severe Cerebral Palsy... in order for him to stand on his own, the other guy is holding him up so they can STAND and worship together.

It reminds me of our relationship with God. When we can't stand, God is there to lift us up.

Many blessings,
Allison

God's artwork

It's very rare that I am up early in the morning. At least up & out of the house. Lately, watching the girls has had me up prior to the sun. As much as I grumble about the early hours, God usually shuts me up with a painting.

You see, in the early hours of the morning, driving into Gainesville, God paints beautiful pictures for me. Full of life & color. While it may be cold out, the picture before me warms my heart. Knowing that God painted this beautiful scene for me reminds me, once again, of His love for me.

Enjoy the beauty in His paintings.
Many blessings,
Allison

How much did it cost?

As I grow older, I find that I am becoming more & more open about my faith. I won't hit you over the head with it, but I am not about to hide it either. Lately it seems as though the best way to express my beliefs has been through songs. Specifically worship songs.

It's always awe inspiring when I sit in service & start singing, realizing that the song is speaking directly to me. Sure they put the titles of the songs on the screen prior to service beginning & I'll take a peek - make sure I know the song. But rarely do I actually THINK about the song until we start singing.

Today was one of those days. I loved the 3 songs that we sang today, but it was the 3rd one that REALLY spoke to me - especially since we are in this season of CHRISTmas. We observe this holiday to reflect on the birth of a Savior - our Savior. I am well aware that Jesus was not actually born on December 25, but more likely during the spring.

I digress.

For me, Christmas is about the birth & resurrection of my Savior. You see, there couldn't have been a resurrection if there wasn't a birth. Thinking of that baby born in a manager 2000 years ago gets me to thinking about His death. Jesus endured a PAINFUL & humiliating death so that I may live in Heaven for eternity.

That brings me to today's 3rd song. Once again, it's a Chris Tomlin song - God seems to really speak to me through Chris' words. Today, the song 'Here I am to Worship' helped drive home the reality of what was put into action the moment that Jesus was born.

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
And I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross
No, I'll never know how much it cost

I will never know how it broke God's heart to see His only Son upon that cross, suffering for sins that He did not commit, but for the sins that I would commit in my life. I will never fully comprehend the amount of love that God has for me that He was so willing to draw me closer to Him through the death & resurrection of His Son.

What I do know is that God truly does love me. He set a plan in motion thousands of years ago because of His love for me - and YOU!

And it doesn't cost ME a thing.

Many blessings,
Allison

Lyrics | Chris Tomlin - Here I Am To Worship lyrics

What about Joseph?

It's 2 days after Thanksgiving and that means the Christmas season is officially upon us. String up the lights, tinsel, blast the Christmas music. Shopping chaos all around. USPS, UPS & FedEx working overtime to get those packages delivered on time.

This is my favorite time of year. For us, Christmas is more than gifts under a tree, stockings hung by the mantel & Christmas carols. It's about the birth of a Savior. A sweet, precious baby born to save the world - Jesus.

I always wanted to meet Mary, the mother of Jesus, to know her thoughts on being chosen by God to give birth & raise Jesus. Watching His ministry then watching Him get crucified. The heartbreak of seeing her son die, but then the amazement of learning of His resurrection.

Joseph, Mary's husband, is often overlooked throughout the story. He seems to play a very little role in the story of Christ. Yet, I wonder what it must have been like for him too. Learning that his fiance' was pregnant with a child not his; teaching his son the family trade of carpentry. We don't know much about Joseph.

MercyMe sings a beautiful song titled "Joseph's Lullaby". I can picture Joseph rocking his newborn son in his arms thinking these very words, especially the line:

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child

I am so very grateful for the events that took place over 2000 years ago. An event that changed the world. The triumphant birth of a King. The best part: Wise men still seek Him!

Many blessings,
Allison

Lyrics | MercyMe - Joseph’s lullaby lyrics