I got punched in the gut today. Not literally... but it hurt just as bad.
I've been pursuing a new career as a 911 dispatch operator. The process has been lengthy, to say the least; typing test, interview, background check & polygraph test. The only thing left was to have a psychiatric evaluation. I've really felt that this was where God wanted me.
Today I got an email stating that I am no longer being considered for the position. For whatever reason, they've opted to go with another candidate.
I'll be honest, I'm hurt. This is a big kick to my ego. What's wrong with me? I know I passed my polygraph - that's what the tech told me. Is there something with my personality? Maybe I didn't answer their questions the way they wanted me to. I just don't know.
I'm really at a loss of where God wants me. I'm really struggling with wondering whether or not I heard God right... maybe I've never heard Him right. Yet I know that's what my Enemy wants me to believe. He wants me to doubt my relationship with God.
Where to next? I've been contemplating school for a year now; maybe it's time. I'd love to do some public speaking about being a rape survivor... I could look into that. Forensic nursing is always an avenue.
I don't know what God has in store for me, but I do know that it's something wonderful.