I've always been a bit of a wall flower. Someone who doesn't necessarily want to be noticed - until you get to know me. Either way, I keep most things closely guarded. There is not a SINGLE person on this planet that knows EVERYTHING about me. Some people are close, but no one knows it all. Why? Because then my Achilles Heel is exposed.
Yet one thing that I have learned over the past few years, especially being involved in community groups at church, is that in order to be effective as a leader, you need to be a little transparent.
With our first group, Craig & I were honest with the surface stuff. I think we looked like a GREAT couple from the outside looking in. But we didn't need help with the surface stuff. We needed (and still need) help with the stuff down deep; buried so deep that we forgot it was even there.
With each new group that we join, we let go a little more. Why? Not because we are proud of our dirty laundry, but to let others know that community groups are a SAFE place. You're there to do life together. The best way to do life is to let people INTO your life. You're REAL life - not just the surface stuff.
How has it helped us? It has forced us to be honest about life. Honest about our faults & strengths. We've learned from other couples & pray that others can learn from us.
Don't hide your 'dirt'. Embrace it. Believe it or not, you are not alone in your struggles. Besides, saying them outloud only gives them LESS power.