Lucky 13

Where do I begin? It's a love story like no other. It doesn't involve a princess or a prince. It certainly isn't a fairy tale.

13 years ago, I walked down the aisle of my childhood church to marry the man that God chose for me. Little did I know what God had in store for us.

I'd love to say that it has been a blissful 13 years, but I'd be lying. We've had our problems; financial & relational. God hasn't always been at the center of our marriage. At one point, we would have become another marriage statistic.

I wish someone would have pulled me aside and told me that marriage takes work - hard work.

I've known this man since we were 15. He was my 1st boyfriend... He was the 1st boy I ever kissed. And now he will be the last boy I ever kiss.

I am SO proud to be his wife. His help meet. His partner in life. I am the mother of his 2 children. One day I will the grandmother of his grandchildren. There are nights where I just lie in bed, amazed that I am laying next to him. The boy that I kicked under that church pew 23 years ago. The young man that stole my heart on our 1st date back in 1993.

Past, present & future

So, here I am. It's 12:45 in the morning. I should be in bed, but instead I'm cruising on Facebook. Checking out who's up to what.

I like Facebook. Tons of fun to be able to stay in touch with family in NJ & NC; share pictures & what not. I've also enjoyed reconnecting with friends from high school & grade school. Good stuff.

But then I reminisce. Which in itself isn't bad... but its when you think of the 'what ifs'.

I don't want to live my life in 'what if'. I want to live my life in the here & now. Looking back, I see a sad young lady who wanted nothing more than to be loved. I jumped through hoops to get that love and I didn't care what it cost me - which wound up being my self-respect.

The Mayor is a part of my past. He was my very 1st boyfriend back in 1987. My very 1st kiss. But he's also a part of my present & I know he'll be a part of my future. You see, what's best about him being my 1st kiss is that he will be my last kiss.

Our marriage isn't perfect, but it's ours. I won't sit & think about the 'what ifs' of my life. You see, I am married to EXACTLY who I am supposed to be married to, living exactly where I'm supposed to live. I don't want to be married to anyone else. He is my heart & soul. My one true love. The man that God chose for me, even before I was born. Sometimes I lay in bed and am overwhelmed at the thought that I am married to him.

How blessed am I that I get to grow old with him?

Many blessings,
Allison

My beloved, the "mayor"

Without fail, no matter where we go (mall, NJ, GA, international airport) my husband runs into SOMEONE he knows.

It happened all the time in NJ. My friend, Debbie, started calling him "The Mayor". Literally, without fail he would know SOMEONE where ever we went. Being from a small town & having your father in the fire department probably attributed to that.

When we were visiting Georgia, looking to move, we were in Newark International Airport (yeah, yeah I know. It's Liberty Airport or something like that) getting ready to board our plane. Wouldn't you know it - my husband KNEW someone on our plane.

Years later, once again sitting in Newark International Airport, hubby saw someone he knew on THAT plane to ATL too.

Anytime we ran into someone he knew, I'd sit there in the background, waiting to be introduced. Sadly, 9 times out of 10 they would say goodbye and I'd STILL be in the background.

Fast forward to today... we had to swing by the school that he works at to pick something up. He went to chat with his principal, whom I had yet to meet. What a wonderful surprise when he introduced me as his "beautiful bride".

He's STILL the mayor everywhere we go, but now he introduces me. He's been saying that more & more recently when he introduces me, yet today was the first time I REALLY heard it. It made me feel SO wonderful. He really must love me to introduce me that way. I mean, we'll be married 13 years come November. I don't consider myself his BRIDE still. But to him, I am still that bride that he married 12 1/2 years ago.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. Song of Solomon 6:3

Many blessings,
Allison

Tiger's "fall from grace"

Unless you've been living in a cave - actually, I'm sure Osama even knows about this - you've seen the press coverage about the newest scandal. Seems as though Tiger Woods may have cheated on his wife.

Whether he did or not is really none of my business. Quite honestly, it's NO ONE's business. This should have stayed between him & his wife. However, because the media doesn't want to discuss REAL issues, we get to hear all about Tiger's fun. Oh joy!

I am deeply saddened to hear about his indiscretion. Yet another marriage destroyed by the prince of lies. My prayer for the Woods is that they seek counseling for this. Marriage is a fight - daily. It's not a walk in the park. You can't just 'coast' in a marriage and think you're successful. It takes a lot of hard work by husband AND wife.

I'm not even sure what the big deal is. Why? Just because he's Tiger Woods. Seriously? Because he's got a great golf game, does that make him immune from sin? We need to remember people - HE IS HUMAN! And because he is human, he will make mistakes. We all do.

Instead of beating this man into the ground, we should be lifting him & his wife up in our prayers. Think of their love & their children. Personally, my prayer is that they can eventually work past this.

As for our media - seriously, is there nothing else you can report on??? What about health care or the decision to send MORE troops? How about what is going to be done for the jobless out there? Tiger isn't going to pay my bills... report about something that affects my life.

Why must the media attempt to destroy people's lives? Obviously, people can do that on their own; they certainly do not need the MEDIA's help with it. Are our lives better off because we know about Tiger & his wife?

Many blessings,
Allison

The Broken Road

On a stormy November day in 1997, I was blessed to marry an amazing man. November 2nd we celebrate our 12th year of marriage.

I would have never imagined that our lives would have turned out the way they have. We've experienced tremendous ups & downs, the births of 2 beautiful children, and moved away from our families. Our marriage has survived and grows stronger each day.

As I look back on my life, not just my married life, I see that God has prepared me for this relationship. While my teenage years were spent looking for a man to love me, God led me to the man that He hand-picked for me. The only way to describe it are the words to the beautiful song "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts.

Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Many blessings,
Allison

I am home

A little over 5 years ago, my family & I ventured out on an adventure. We packed up our belongings (well, a moving company did that) and headed on down south. Way down south - Georgia. We left northern NJ, everything & everyone that we knew & loved for the great unknown in Georgia.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'm not good at goodbye. Never have been - may never be.

My best friend gave me a movie as my going away/birthday gift - Sweet Home Alabama. I had never watched it before. I'm glad I did.

One thing my friend wanted me to take from that movie is that you can ALWAYS go home. I've held onto that sentiment for many years. It has only been recently that I realize that while you CAN always go home, home is where the HEART is. My heart - it's right here in Georgia living in the same house.

My favorite line from the movie was Reese Witherspoon saying

'Jake, you were the 1st boy I ever kissed and I want you to be the last.'

It's ironic. Craig is the first boy that I ever kissed and he is my last.

You can always go home.. you just have to remember exactly WHERE home is. My advice - check your heart.

Many blessings,
Allison

Being transparent

I've always been a bit of a wall flower. Someone who doesn't necessarily want to be noticed - until you get to know me. Either way, I keep most things closely guarded. There is not a SINGLE person on this planet that knows EVERYTHING about me. Some people are close, but no one knows it all. Why? Because then my Achilles Heel is exposed.

Yet one thing that I have learned over the past few years, especially being involved in community groups at church, is that in order to be effective as a leader, you need to be a little transparent.

With our first group, Craig & I were honest with the surface stuff. I think we looked like a GREAT couple from the outside looking in. But we didn't need help with the surface stuff. We needed (and still need) help with the stuff down deep; buried so deep that we forgot it was even there.

With each new group that we join, we let go a little more. Why? Not because we are proud of our dirty laundry, but to let others know that community groups are a SAFE place. You're there to do life together. The best way to do life is to let people INTO your life. You're REAL life - not just the surface stuff.

How has it helped us? It has forced us to be honest about life. Honest about our faults & strengths. We've learned from other couples & pray that others can learn from us.

Don't hide your 'dirt'. Embrace it. Believe it or not, you are not alone in your struggles. Besides, saying them outloud only gives them LESS power.

Many blessings,
Allison

Jon & Kate plus WAY too many....

(way too many is referring to the media, not the number of children they have).

I should be the last person to talk about another couple's marriage, since mine is far from perfect, but since they've decided to put their lives on TV for the world to see here I go.

Unless you live under a rock (or in a cave), you've heard about the TLC show 'John & Kate plus 8'. This show follows a husband and wife & their EIGHT children (twins & sextuplets). While I LOVE some reality shows (American Idol, Survivor) I am not a huge fan of any that involve 'pimping' another family (Jon & Kate, 18 & counting, etc).

This show is supposed to be about a typical American family trying to raise their 8 children, but there is NOTHING typical about this family. First of all, they have EIGHT children (2 sets of multiples). Next, they seem to not have to work - this show is their cash cow. I guess Jon used to work, but doesn't any longer. Finally, they manage to get a slew of vacations & freebies (b-day party for the twins at American Girl in NYC). Doesn't happen for me!!

Rcently, there has been a HUGE media frenzy over Jon & Kate's marriage. Who's cheating on who; who spends more time at home while the other is out & about. Typical stuff that happens yet this family has the unfortunate 'luck' of living their lives in the public eye. Life is anything BUT typical for these kids. They've got cameras following their every move; showing every argument their parents have.

My heart breaks for this family... they're about to start their newest season. They should be focusing more on making this marriage work instead of continuing to 'expose' their family to the circus that is the American media.

As much as I would love to sit & criticize Jon & Kate, I think I'll just lift them up in prayer. I pray that they realize their mistakes & take the time to work on their marriage. Not just because they made those vows, but because of the 8 beautiful children that they have brought into this world as a couple. Jon & Kate ~ if you read this: focus on your family!!! Step away from the media and regroup as a couple.

Many blessings,
Allison

My cup runneth over

One of my favorite movies is 'Hope Floats'. Of course, my favorite line is "My cup runneth over". I think it accurately describes how I feel sometimes.

If you've been here for a while or just read the earlier blogs, you know that God blessed me with an amazing husband. Our marriage is not picture perfect. In fact, both of us will admit that there was a time where we would have considered divorce. Yet, through God & hard work we have made it through 11 years of marriage and have MANY more to look forward to.

I'm not the ideal wife - I know that. I have a tendency to be lazy when it comes to house work. Craig picks up the slack (and I LOVE him for it). He takes care of the every day minor details of life & I am always in the moment. I think a lot of that is because I work fulltime outside of the home & often feel 'guilty' that I don't spend enough time with my children.

Craig was kind enough to clean the windows & vacuum the floor of my car. However, I didn't notice it. He finally said something 3 days later. (Bad wife)

We're a work in progress and we are willing to fight for our marriage. I've got a lot of growing up to do. Kinda weird to say that at 37, but its true.

My husband's love is just a glimmer of God's love for me - unconditional & never-ending. Yet the love I feel for him & from him just overwhelms me to the point where I become speechless. Truly, my cup runneth over.

Many blessings,
Allison

I will be here

There's a beautiful song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled “I Will Be Here”. It's been around for quite a while. I remember listening to it in college (1990's), but the sentiment of the song is still true today. In fact, it's true for most marriages.

I Will Be Here(c)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

Everytime I hear that song, I am reminded of how blessed I am that God brought Craig into my life. While we have our ups & downs, I know that Craig will always be with me.

Yet today, I experienced this song in an elderly couple at the store. She came in, ahead of her husband, to check to see if we had something. He has a difficult time walking, so she didn't want him to walk all the way to our store if we didn't have what he needed. Eventually he made his way into the store. Unfortunately, we don't sell what he was looking for, but I did manage to find it available online for him. While he was sitting, we had a brief conversation. He has stenosis – a degenerative disease of the spine/back – and had surgery on it 1 year ago this past January. Today was the 1st day he was able to get out of the house & walking around. He told me how his wife has been taking care of him all these months. He is truly blessed & knows it.

That short conversation reminded me of the song...

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I can only pray that Craig & I will make it to that point in our marriage. With God's help, we will. For now, I pray that we continue to be a loving couple that shows our children what marriage is all about.

Many blessings,
Allison

The Great Date Experiment #2

Ok, so we never actually did the 1st GDE (Great Date Experiment). We meant to. Which means when it was time to participate in GDE #2 we were all over it.

I'm proud of Craig. He went to church to pick up our packet & didn't cheat. Once I got home from work, I changed & we hopped into the car. Off we went - who knows where!

We went to dinner at Applebee's & had the server choose our dinner. THANK YOU MATTHEW! Yummy! Then it was off to the outlet mall to walk around & chat. There were specific questions to answer in the packet. It really helped us communicate - imagine that (did I mention that the theme of GDE #2 was Cultivating Communication?) Anyway, after that we headed to Kroger to choose dessert ~ less than $2 each!! It had to be a surprise to the other person.

When we got home, we needed to permanently mark our date somewhere. We chose to write on the foundation wall of our house. Since our marriage is the foundation of our family we thought writing on the foundation of the house was only fitting.

It was a beautiful evening. We had lots of fun & great conversation. For the 1st time in a LONG time we talked TO one another instead of AT eachother. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget. Our prayer is that we continue to communicate the way God intends.

Many blessings,
Allison

I'm at a loss

I'm on Day Three of The Love Dare and I'm at a loss. How does one go about buying a gift for someone who isn't all that impressed by gifts? It's just supposed to be a small, little something to let him know that I'm thinking of him. But what should that be?

We're about to take a vacation to visit NJ, so I don't want to spend a TON of $$ but I don't want to do nothing (especially since this right up my alley. My love language is gifts). A shirt? CD? Candle? Something kitcheny? UGH!!

Someone help - please!

On a side note, if you haven't watched the movie 'Fireproof' yet - DO IT!! It will change your life & potentially your marriage. Very thought provoking - at least for me.

Send in those ideas!!!

Many blessings,
Allison