Monday, August 23, 2010

Past, present & future

So, here I am. It's 12:45 in the morning. I should be in bed, but instead I'm cruising on Facebook. Checking out who's up to what.

I like Facebook. Tons of fun to be able to stay in touch with family in NJ & NC; share pictures & what not. I've also enjoyed reconnecting with friends from high school & grade school. Good stuff.

But then I reminisce. Which in itself isn't bad... but its when you think of the 'what ifs'.

I don't want to live my life in 'what if'. I want to live my life in the here & now. Looking back, I see a sad young lady who wanted nothing more than to be loved. I jumped through hoops to get that love and I didn't care what it cost me - which wound up being my self-respect.

The Mayor is a part of my past. He was my very 1st boyfriend back in 1987. My very 1st kiss. But he's also a part of my present & I know he'll be a part of my future. You see, what's best about him being my 1st kiss is that he will be my last kiss.

Our marriage isn't perfect, but it's ours. I won't sit & think about the 'what ifs' of my life. You see, I am married to EXACTLY who I am supposed to be married to, living exactly where I'm supposed to live. I don't want to be married to anyone else. He is my heart & soul. My one true love. The man that God chose for me, even before I was born. Sometimes I lay in bed and am overwhelmed at the thought that I am married to him.

How blessed am I that I get to grow old with him?

Many blessings,


Barbie said...

Simply precious. I love that the man you kissed first will be the last one you kissed. That is so amazing to me!

Muthering Heights said...

Facebook can be a dangerous place for that reason. I'm glad to hear that you are keeping the proper perspective!