Monday, April 19, 2010

Today is the day.....

We sang this song in UpStreet yesterday. I love it because it's so upbeat & rockin'. What a great way to celebrate my God - jumping up & down, praising His name.

But today this song means SO much more to me. You see, I am in my 5th day of abstinence.

What am I abstaining from? I'll tell you... As you know, I am a compulsive overeater. The past few days I've focused on abstaining from binge eating. Abstinence to a compulsive overeater is the same as sobriety to an alcoholic.

I'm gonna be honest here (aren't I always), this has been the hardest thing I've ever done. For SO long, I've listened to that voice in my head telling me it's ok to eat. It'll make me feel better. Going against that voice, UGH! What a fight!!! It doesn't make me feel better. I usually feel worse. Not only do I STILL have the emotional pain I was trying to drown out, I then have the physical pain of a belly ache.

I still fight the urge to binge. But today I have it over to God and I feel free. They call this the 'honeymoon' period. I need to just take this one day at a time. Don't focus on what tomorrow will bring; just what I'm doing today. One day at a time... sometimes one minute at a time.

And I won't worry about tomorrow
I'm giving You my fears and sorrows
Where You lead me I will follow
I'm trusting in what You say
Today is the day
~Lincoln Brewster

I'm a long way from recovery... but I am enjoying the recovery I am currently experiencing.

Many blessings,

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