Monday, March 22, 2010

Another rainy Monday

I know we had a drought a for a few years, but all of this rain is killing me! Every time it rains, I'm sporting a migraine. UGH!

It's been a week of mixed emotions, yet no real binges. I guess that is an accomplishment for me. I can't totally say that I was abstinent, but I didn't binge. Heck, I'm having a tough time trying to figure out what my trigger foods are. It changes day to day.

The real BIGGIE for me was realizing that I was going to be 'found out'. It's easy to sit here on my computer and tell you that I am a compulsive over eater. I can even admit that to my IRL friends & family. It's a totally different thing letting people SEE the stuff I binge on.

My heart knows that people will still love me - maybe even love me more. My head, the sickness, says otherwise. But my sponsor said something to me this week that struck a cord "Your sickness is only as powerful as your secret".

Does that mean I'm ready to pour it all out for you? No, sorry. I'm just not there yet. BUT, I have began talking about it in a safe environment. With the love & support of my program friends and God, I know that one day (hopefully soon) I will be able to share it with my family, friends & you.

My bible verse for today:
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13

I need to constantly & consistently remember that. Even if every person in my life were to walk out, I am still loved by the One above. He will see me through.
My song for today:

He will carry me
by Mark Schultz



I have a blessed life.. I just need to keep that in mind every day. As for this disease, I just need to take it one day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow, just focus on today.

3/22/10 Thankful List
  • The friendship in program
  • The love & support of my family, friends & readers
  • The simple phrase "I Love You"
Many blessings,
Allison

2 comments:

Basement Stamper said...

Being accountable for your actions is admirable. I've let a few online friends know exactly how much I weigh and we are doing a Biggest Loser. I'm definitely not in the running as if I'm not willing to change my eating habits, nothing will change. Glad you are taking a proactive approach to it all!!!

Elizabeth said...

Praying for you...I have recently been convicted again of my horrible eating habit and lack of exercise...