Wednesday, February 4, 2015

This & that

I want to try to blog more frequently. I've got a lot going on in this crazy brain of mine. I may as well give it an escape.

Sometimes I'll right on the fly - whatever comes to mind. I have a friend who wants to share some writing prompts with me, so you'll be privy to that adventure as well.

Where to start?

I'm trying really hard to "Be Still". I want to hear God. Reconnect with God in such a way that I allow Him to guide my life. To do that, I need to become more disciplined. I am hoping that an upcoming study at church on the book of James will give me the kick-start I need.


I've been doing a lot of thinking about my father. I miss him. Yet as I see my husband & daughter interact, I get jealous. Jealous of the relationship that they have that I always wanted. The beam of pride on The Mayor's face as he sees his Songbird in her prom dress for the first time. That is something that I missed out on growing up. 

I'm not saying my father wasn't proud of me. I am sure, in his own way, he was very proud of me. Yet I longed to have him tell me - just once.

Don't feel sorry for me. My father did tell me how proud I made him. Proud of the woman I had become. Proud of the mother I was; the wife; the daughter. There isn't any doubt in my mind that my father was proud of me. I just didn't realize it when I was younger - during those formative years. 

I don't begrudge my husband or my daughter for the positive relationship that they have. HARDLY!! I feel so blessed that my children have a wonderful father. Just one less hurt & disappointment they have to deal with as they grow up. The Mayor is a great example of what a father should be. Yes, he's flawed (we all are). He has tried his very best to be there for them. 


There you have it. My craziness for today. My mind is all over the grid (as usual).

Many blessings,

No comments: