Monday, March 2, 2015

Pardon the interruption

Have no fear. I'll get back to Allie's Rules shortly. I just needed to get a few things off of my chest.

For quite a while now, I have felt disconnected from people. I know its because I haven't done much of anything to cultivate or nurture friendships/relationships that God has placed in my life. I've been trying to be more mindful of it. Actually make an effort to seek people out. Get together. Meet for coffee/breakfast/lunch. It's a bit of a stretch for me. It's not that I don't like having friends. It's just very difficult to put myself out there. Regardless of whether we already have an established friendship of some sort. It's a fear of rejection. That eventually the person will realize how crazy I am and just want to walk away.

So, to push my limits I joined a women's study of the book of James. This way, I get out of the house, meet with other ladies AND study the Bible. I'm actually looking forward to it. Of course, it starts in 2 days. We'll see how I am when Wednesday actually gets here.

The Mayor & I joined a couple's small group. This is the 1st time in MANY years that we have simply been in a small group. It's an interesting group. We've only met a handful of times, so we're just getting to know one another. Yet I feel hopeful. I feel hopeful that we may have found people to go through life with. One of the most difficult things about losing my father was not having a support system ready & waiting.

I'm still unemployed. I'm ok with it though. I've gotten used to being a stay-at-home mom. There are days where I'm going crazy staring at my 4 walls. Then there are the days where I don't want to go back to work. At least not back to a rigid schedule. Ultimately, I want to go back to work. I'd love to get back to dispatching. God is in control.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the time I do have with my family; cooking for them, being home when the kids get home from school. It was a blessing to be home with the family during the holidays.

I'm looking forward to what God has planned. 2014 was a crazy year. 2015 seems to be better.

Many blessings,

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