As I've said previously, I struggle with clinical depression. I have for many years. I'd like to think it all started in 1994, but deep down inside I know that it started well before that.
During my darker times of depression, I had contemplated suicide. At the time, it seemed like the best way to end the pain that I was in. I truly believed that my friends and family would be better off without. Over time, I have learned that lie is the FURTHEST thing from the truth. My temporary pain may be over, but I would have left behind a wake of heart ache.
Being on the other side of suicide, I have seen the devastation that decision can cause in a family. Those left behind search for answers; why did this happen, how could this have happened, what did we miss.
It breaks my heart to see the aftermath of suicide. Denial, anger. Families trying to make sense of it all. Putting the pieces back together - trying to live life while there is a gaping hole in their lives from the absence of their loved one.
I am so thankful that I never succeeded. Thankful for the new outlook on life. Thankful that my friends and family didn't have to deal with losing me. Thankful that I can live out the rest of my life as an example of God's redemption and love.
Dear friend, if you are in that dark place - reconsider. Talk to someone. A friend, a family member, even a stranger. Dial 911. They can get you some help.
Many blessings,
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