Tuesday, October 30, 2012
On a stormy Sunday 15 years ago, I married the Mayor. Little did I know what was in store for us or our marriage.
This Friday will mark 15 years that we have been married. I would love to say that every day has been wedded bliss, but that would be lying. We have had our ups & downs. I will also admit that there was a time where I think we both considered divorce. Life wasn't the "happily ever after" that the stories promise.
What have I learned these 15 years?
Marriage takes work. There is no such thing as 'happily ever after'. Life doesn't just CLICK once you are married. You have to WORK for your marriage. Every hour of every day. He is going to do things that just drive you batty. Things will get in the way of your love. Children happen. Work happens. Life happens.
Shortly before we moved, the Mayor and I were living separately. Not physically separately, but emotionally. He had his life and I had mine. The only thing we had in common were our children. We had our families fooled. I'm pretty sure we had our friends fooled. We were 2 people living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, but living 2 completely different lives. Instead of clinging to one another, focusing on God, we focused on anything but. He gave his heart to the fire department and I gave my heart elsewhere.
Moving was what saved our marriage. We moved 12 hours away. No family. No friends. No distractions. Just me, the Mayor, Songbird & Slugger. It was sink or swim time.
We found a church home. We found a small group. We found each other.
I would marry the Mayor all over again for I know that he is the one my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4) God has brought some wonderful people into our lives who have spoken truth. They have been transparent about their own marriage, their successes and their failures. We are not alone in our struggles.
Each of us has learned to put God first and foremost in our lives. As we focus on Christ, we are able to give grace to those around us.
While I have regrets of things I have done in my marriage, I know that they have strengthened my resolve to work and fight for it. Divorce is NOT in our vocabulary - unless we are talking about other couples. We are working on being examples to our children.
I'm not gonna lie. It's hard work. But I promise that it is worth the effort.
Happy Anniversary to the Mayor. Here's to another 75 years!
Posted by ~*~ Allison ~*~ at 10:08 AM