Thursday, October 25, 2012

At arms length

I had a conversation with a friend the other day. It was eye opening for me. Possibly even life changing.

She had sent me an email simply titled "Our Friendship". My crazy, diseased mind went straight toward the bad. I thought for sure that she was going to tell me that we should no longer be friends. That I had done some horrible, inexcusable act that destroyed our friendship.

I was pleasantly surprised. She was thanking me for our friendship. Telling me what a blessing it has been.

We chatted quickly about the email the other day. She said to me that I've closed myself off to people ever since BFF moved.


It's one thing to know on the inside that you've closed yourself off. It's something totally different to hear someone validate it. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

Have I been in a 2 year friendship depression?

Looking back, I have to say YES. Yes, I have been. I can honestly say that I have closed most of my heart to friends around me out of fear that they will leave. Gosh - writing that makes it sound SO juvenile.

Where do I go from here?

I put my heart out there. I freely give it over to God. He will protect my heart and lead me to the friendships that He has in store for me.

That's begins tomorrow... tomorrow is the next meeting of my moms of tweens/teens group, Birds on a Wire. It's time to be transparent. I know I am not the only woman going through this. It's time to put it out there. God has brought me to this group for a reason. Now I am open to what He has in store.

Opening my heart doesn't mean my friendship with BFF ends. She will always have a special place in my heart. Nothing can change that. But it is time to build new friendships. Allow for genuine friendship with others. It's not a betrayal of our friendship.. It only will strengthen what we have.

I am so thankful to my dear friend who had enough love for our friendship to make such a bold, yet true statement. I pray that God brings others into my life who will speak truth out of love.

I have hope!

Many blessings,

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