They say that confession is good for the soul. Well, here I go.
I am scared.
There, I said it. Don't I feel better now? Nope, can't say that I do.
What am I scared of you ask.
My beautiful Songbird has been quite anxious this year. To the point of developing an eating disorder. It's not full blown, but its there. I want to sit & beat myself up and blame myself for this turn of events. Why? Well, I have an eating disorder. Surely I've been a terrible example for her and she is only mimicking what she sees.
I need to stop blaming myself. There is no blame. Besides, what good does blame do? It's not going to make the situation any easier. In fact, it'll only hinder MY progress.
I need to turn this over to God. We all know how well I do that. It's not that I don't turn things over to Him. I do. But I've struggled with turning my own eating disorder over to Him. Now I'm struggling turning HER eating disorder over to Him.
We've gotten her help. Just when we were getting a glimpse of this, we decided to find help. Of course, its slow going for my liking, but I need to remember that God is in control. He lead us.
This is a battle... plain & simple. Satan is trying to take hold of my daughter's life in order to make me weak. What's the best way to weaken a Mama? Attack her child. Though in the wild, a Mama usually becomes ferocious.
That's what I need to do. I need to be ferocious in my prayers! Not just for my precious Songbird, but for Slugger too. Puberty is just around the corner for him & there will be trials to go along with it.
My prayer life isn't consistent. That's an area where I falter. I need to be diligent with my prayers. Not just for my kids, but myself & my marriage. I need to bathe my family in prayers each day.
So, there's my confession... You know, I do feel better.