Willing to be willing

Big realization today. You know, a light bulb moment.

I've been doing program half-assed. Deep down, I guess I've known for a while, but I am now finally willing to admit it out loud. Reading chapter 5 in the AA big book has been eye opening. I need to stop expecting perfection & focus only on my progress. And I have made AMAZING progress. I can't remember the last time I binged.

I consistently have 3 REAL meals a day, making wise choices most of the time. Yes, I call my sponsor at least once a day, but I do not make my other calls regularly. I need to stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and just call. If it's not a good time, they'll tell me.

I'll read occasionally, especially when my sponsor has given me an assignment. But other than that, nothing. I haven't been journaling the way I should either. Every day I think of my 3 positives, but seldom write them down. No quiet time with God either.

I've made 2 calls so far today. Left 1 message & spoke with the other person. I jumped out of my comfort zone & called 2 people that I have never called before, but always wanted to. As uncomfortable as it was to dial the phone, it felt great after because I did step out.

Heavenly Father, thank you for not giving up on me even when I had given up on myself. Thank you for the gentle reminders of your love. Help me to be willing to work this program the way YOU want me to work it. Even when I fall, remind me that I can't give up. Thank you for bringing people into my life who genuinely want to see me succeed in this program.

I commit to:

• reading daily from the AA big book at least 4 pages.
• doing my assignments in a timely manner
• hitting my knees in prayer daily BEFORE noon
• journaling daily - either in my journal or on my blog
• calling 3 people daily, other than my sponsor.

Thankful 7/23/10

~ relaxing vacation
~ renewed commitment
~ my sponsor for letting me figure this out at my own pace

Many blessings,
Allison

Vacation 2010

Day one of our vacation. Driving from Georgia to Orlando. Not going to see the Mouse, just getting away from some relaxation as a family.

Surprisingly, I've been awake for most of the trip. So far, Florida is flat, hot & muggy. ACK!!!

One thing that I've noticed on my family road trip is that the scenery ISN'T family friendly. Every other billboard sign is for an adult store or $tripper club. Makes me thankful that we've invested in a DVD player & DS games. Hopefully my kids haven't taken notice.

As a kid, though family trips were few & far between, we would play the 'alphabet game', using billboards & exit signs for the letters. We would have to wait a while to find the letter x. Letter z wasn't found until we hit Buzzard's Bay.

Yet our trip today, we would have completed the game before letting out of the state of Georgia, thanks in part to X-mart and other adult establishments.

Instead, Craig has taken to 'playing' the license plate game....

Here's to a restful family vacation.

Many blessings,
Allison

Waters rising... Part 2

A few weeks ago I told you about the 'chaos' that has been my life. While life has calmed down (for the most part), the song that I wrote about is just as important in my life today as it was a month ago.

Back then, I wanted to share the song with you, but was only able to share the lyrics. Thankfully, today Casey Darnell (the artist) uploaded it to YouTube.

CHECK IT OUT!!!

Many blessings,
Allison