This & that

I want to try to blog more frequently. I've got a lot going on in this crazy brain of mine. I may as well give it an escape.

Sometimes I'll right on the fly - whatever comes to mind. I have a friend who wants to share some writing prompts with me, so you'll be privy to that adventure as well.

Where to start?

I'm trying really hard to "Be Still". I want to hear God. Reconnect with God in such a way that I allow Him to guide my life. To do that, I need to become more disciplined. I am hoping that an upcoming study at church on the book of James will give me the kick-start I need.

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my father. I miss him. Yet as I see my husband & daughter interact, I get jealous. Jealous of the relationship that they have that I always wanted. The beam of pride on The Mayor's face as he sees his Songbird in her prom dress for the first time. That is something that I missed out on growing up. 

I'm not saying my father wasn't proud of me. I am sure, in his own way, he was very proud of me. Yet I longed to have him tell me - just once.

Don't feel sorry for me. My father did tell me how proud I made him. Proud of the woman I had become. Proud of the mother I was; the wife; the daughter. There isn't any doubt in my mind that my father was proud of me. I just didn't realize it when I was younger - during those formative years. 

I don't begrudge my husband or my daughter for the positive relationship that they have. HARDLY!! I feel so blessed that my children have a wonderful father. Just one less hurt & disappointment they have to deal with as they grow up. The Mayor is a great example of what a father should be. Yes, he's flawed (we all are). He has tried his very best to be there for them. 

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There you have it. My craziness for today. My mind is all over the grid (as usual).

Many blessings,